


Ain't No Rest for the Wicked

by FandomDarling



Category: The Walking Dead
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-24
Updated: 2016-07-16
Packaged: 2018-06-10 08:28:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6947752
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FandomDarling/pseuds/FandomDarling





	1. Chapter 1

I don't know how many days I'd been holed up the back of the water truck when the door was thrown open and I was blinded by the bright sunshine.  
I heard him before I saw him, whooping for joy in his deep timbre as he cracked open a water jug. I stood up, my makeshift club clanging against the side of truck. I heard him go silent and the click of gun.

       "Who's in there?" he growled.

"It's just me. I'm unarmed, please don't hurt me." I said, emerging from behind the rack of bottles, dropping my club and raising my hands in surrender. The sun hit my eyes and I moved a hand to cover them. When I moved them again, I saw him. His beautiful face, strong jaw set in firm pointing a gun at me.

       "Who are you?" He barked, eyeing me up and down. I tried to smile,

"My name is (f/n) (l/n)." I murmured, dropping my hands to my side.

"Well you know my name, what's yours? “I asked, crossing my arms. His eyes looked me over one more time, before he dropped the gun.

       "Name's Shane." He said, tucking it into his waistband.

"Nice to meet you." I murmured, with a half grin.

"Under the circumstances that is." I chuckled. Taking him in slowly. He was handsome. There was no denying that from the tip of his combat boots to the top of his curly mop of dark hair. There wasn't a thing that I didn't like. Automatically I felt guilt rise in my chest. His deep voice interrupted my thoughts.

        "What the hell are you doing out here?" He asked as took a few cations steps towards the edge of the truck trying not to focus on the way his damp shirt clung to his torso. He offered a big hand to me. I smiled, taking it and feeling the calloused palm in mine.

"Thanks." I murmured, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear self-consciously. We stood in silence for a moment.

        "You never answered my question." He murmured, scrunching his nose up and putting his hands on his hips as he looked at me. Just as I opened my mouth to speak, he clamped a hand over my mouth and pushed me towards the ground. I started to scream, but he shook me as he pushed me towards the truck.

        "Get under the fucking truck." He growled, brown eyes wide with fear. I tossed a glance over my shoulder spotting several walkers stumbling my way. I dropped to my knees and pulled myself under the truck. I felt his warm body drape over mine snugly as he followed me under the truck. I felt myself starting hyperventilate but Shane’s wrapped a strong arm around my waist as the over draped itself over my mouth.

        “Keep real quiet. I’m not gonna let anything happen to you.” He murmured, huskily in my ear. I couldn’t help but shudder. I felt safer with him there, there’s no denying that but fear coiled tightly in my stomach as the moans and shuffles of the walkers drew closer to us. We lay there as still as possible for what seemed like eternity, his warmth seeping into my body. Finally, he pushed himself away as quiet as possible as he moved to survey the area. I missed the warmth of his body almost instantly. Guilt crept up once again as I moved to see what the new horrors awaited. As I stood up and dusted off my cotton sundress, I heard a little girl scream. I whipped my head around as I see the girl go over the guard rail and run towards the woods. The man in the Sheriff’s get-up followed her, knowing that there where most likely walkers in the woods. I followed the back of Shane’s head as he weaved through the cars. I passed by my mangled car trying not to look at it too long. I locked my eyes on the back of Shane’s head once more and began to jog towards them. Reaching the group, I slowed to a walk and stood next to Shane. A tall, brunette woman was comforting, who I assumed was the mother of the girl that just took off by the looks of her. The brunette looked up at me and then from me to Shane.

“Who the hell is she?” She hissed, eyeing my ratty sundress and skinned knees. I flushed embarrassed. He looked over at me and smirked, wrapping his arm around me.

       “This is my new pal, (f/n) I found her holed up in the water truck a few feet back. Gotta problem with that Lori?” He spat with a smirk. He glared at him before turning her attention back to the sobbing woman. Shane smiled down at me, before I shrugged his arm off. He frowned looking at me.

       “You’re bleeding.” He muttered, squatting down to inspect my knees. He slid a hand up my calves before casting his eyes up at me and blowing on my knee. I turned beet red and swatted at him.

“It’s fine, stop it. Please.” I begged, as he rocked back onto his heels before casting a smirk up at me.

       “What’s got your panties in a twist? I was just having a little fun.” He murmured, scratching his head.

“Oh, I don’t the apocalypse.” I snapped, crossing my arms.

       “Shit, I’m sorry.” He muttered, giving me a small smile. I frowned before sighing and running my hands through my hair.

“No, I’m sorry. You were just trying to lighten the mood.” I said, giving him a small smile. He returned it in earnest.

        “So you gonna tell me how you ended up here, all by your lonesome in nothing but a nightie?” he asked, smirking as I blushed as I pulled my jean jacket tighter around me.

“It’s a sundress.” I protested, scuffing my moto boot across the tar.

        “Sure it is. Now come on. What’s your story, girl?” He asked, stepping towards me again.

“You really wanna know, Shane?” I asked, waiting for him to answer. He nodded, so I motioned for him to follow me and headed back through the cars.

“I wasn’t alone when I started out. I was headed to the airport with my husband. We were headed for our honeymoon.” I muttered, as I looked up to find him staring at me.

“The bombings started and that trailer truck flipped. When it flipped it hit our car and sent us rolling, we crashed through the guardrail, the windshield shattered and a chunk of the glass severed-“ I paused, swallowing the tears as we neared the wreckage of my car. I pressed the heels of my palms into my eyes, fighting the tears. I felt Shane’s hand on my back and took a deep shuddering breath before continuing.

“The glass severed his femoral artery, I watched him bleed out, Shane, while I was holding his hand.” I cried, shuddering as the tears came. He said nothing but pulled me into his arms and even though I had just met him this kind of compassion seemed out of place for a man like Shane, but I didn’t fight it.

         “Shhh, (f/n) it’s ok.” He murmured, pressing a kiss into my hair. I hiccupped as I pulled away and wiped my eyes while closing the distance between me and what was left of my car.

“After he died, I climbed out and picked up a piece of piping to use as a weapon. I must’ve killed about 30 walkers before I made the decision to hole up in the truck. I didn’t have any food, but I knew I could survive as long as I had water. This is what’s left of the car.” I said, gesturing to it. Shane cracked open the rear window and pulled out our suitcases.

        “You got anything useful in these?” He asked, I shrugged.

“Clothes mostly. Ke-My husband was about your size.” I murmured, watching him closely.

         “Could be useful, plus you’re going to need something better than pajamas to run around in.” He teased, as he reached into the mangled car, pushing the airbag back in and opening the glove compartment. Inside sat a gun, he pulled it out.

          “This yours?” He asked, checking the cylinder. I shook my head no.

          “It is now. You know how to use it?” He asked, pressing the gun into my hand.

“I’m not completely helpless.” I muttered, running my thumbs over the edge of the gun.

           “’is not what I asked?” He said, gruffly.

“Yes, I know how to use it. My dad was in the National Guard. He made sure both me and my little brother knew how to shoot.” I smiled, at the memory.

           “Good. One less person to teach.” He said, turning back towards the group and the RV. We walked in silence, just the whirring of the suitcase wheels echoing in the quiet as we stole glances at each other.

            “Pick out what you want to wear. 2-3 things max, things that make for light travel. Then I’ll let the group split up the rest, if that’s all right with you.” He asked, setting the suitcases down behind the car nearest the RV. I nodded, kneeling down. He knelt down and opened the Keith’s suitcase. He pulled out a flannel shirt. I smiled as he held it up to himself.

  
“I bought him that shirt.” I murmured, shifting through my clothes.

          “Sorry, I’ll put it back.” He muttered, I shook my head.

“No, keep it. It suits you.” I said, gently. He smirked, back at me.

        “I have to admit, I’ll miss that nightie of yours.” He muttered with a wink before walking away from me, dragging the suitcase for the guys to dig through. I blushed, as I pulled a pair of cargo pants and a flannel from the suitcase before following Shane back to the group.


	2. Chapter 2

The brunette woman glared at me as I approached behind Shane and dropped my suitcase in front of them.

                “Everybody this is (f/n). (f/n) that’s Lori, Carl, Carol, Dale, Andrea, T-Dog and the guys that you saw run into the woods are Rick and Daryl.” Shane said, watching me watching them.

“It’s nice to meet you all, under the circumstances.” I said , smiling at them gently.

                “Under the Circumstances?  My daughter is missing!” Carol shouted angrily stepping towards me. Shane stepped between us.

                “That’s not (f/n)’s fault. She’s lost people too. Most of us have.” He said, sternly arms crossed against his broad chest. Carol frowned as her lip trembled, I stepped around Shane .

“I’m very sorry about your daughter and I’ll do anything that I can to help. Really.” I murmured, reaching out to pat her back. She flinched but didn’t stop the contact.

                “Who did you lose?” She asked, looking up at me. I glanced at Shane before I spoke.

“My husband. We were about to leave for our honeymoon.” I whispered, biting back tears. There was no way in hell I was crying in front of this whole group. Her face turned soft as she pulled me into a hug.

                “I’m sorry, sweetie. I had no idea.” She whispered, before releasing me. Just then Rick came clamboring back up the bank.

“Is Sophia here?” He asked, out of breath. Carol’s face fell,

“No, we thought she was with you.” Lori said,

                “What happened to my baby girl, Rick?” Carol asked, stepping towards him.

“I had to leave her and draw away the walkers. I couldn’t carry the both of us. I did what I had to do.” He explained, Carol let out a wail. I felt my heart wrench for her.

                “You left her?” Carol cried, Rick desperately tried to explain.

“We’ll find her Carol.” He said, looking over at Shane and noticing me. He looked from Shane and then back to me.

“Who’s this?” He asked, walking over to me.

“Name’s (f/n) (l/n). You are?” I asked, crossing my arms. I said, looking from Rick to Shane. Rick sighed and crossed his arms.

                “Rick Grimes.” He said, extending a hand, I took it and gave it a firm shake. He smiled and turned to Shane.

                “Where’d you find this one?” He asked, eyeing me.

“Water truck, few yards back.” He said, with a shrug. He caught my eye and gave me a wink. I blushed and looked at the ground.

                “We don’t need someone else to look after.” Rick hissed, Shane rolled his eyes.

“Rick, I can’t imagine we’ll have to do much looking after. She’s been out here by herself for Lord knows how long and she’s survived with nothing but an old pipe as a weapon. She told me she knows how to use a gun. She’s an asset really.” He said, firmly. Rick looked back at me and then sighed rubbing a dirty hand over his face.

“I know I don’t look like much but I’ll pull my own weight, I won’t cause trouble. I promise.” I muttered.

                “If anything happens to her, Shane, She’s your responsibility. Got it.” Rick hissed once more before walking back to the group.

                “Yes sir.” Shane barked, with a salute before smiling at me crookedly. I smiled back as he motioned for me to join them. He draped an arm over my shoulders as we discussed a search party.

“I’d like to help.”  I interjected as Rick was splitting us into search parties.

                “You’re not going.” Shane whispered in my ear.

“Why the hell not?” I hissed looking up at him in disbelief. Just a few moments ago he was singing the praises of my capabilities. He pulled me aside as the group continued to talk.

                “Because you’re my responsibility and you’ve been living off nothing but water for days. You need real food before you go trapsing off into the woods.  So you’re staying here with Dale and Carol and you’re going to eat and rest. Got it?” He said, cupping my face.  I nodded, as his thumbs brushed against my cheeks.

                “I can’t have your blood on my hands too.” He muttered, looking like a scared child.

“You don’t. You won’t.” I whispered, taking his hands from my cheeks and kissing the bruised knuckles. I don’t know what compelled me to do it, but there was something about Shane that was magnetic. I watched him walk back to the group and felt a swirl of emotions in my chest. Confusion present in the back of my mind as I turned towards the RV. An older man in a bucket hat greeted me with a smile.

                “I’m Dale, nice to meet you. I haven’t got a whole lot to eat but I do a have few granola bars on the table for you. I’ll be on the roof keeping lookout if want to nap.” He said, patting me on the back.

“Thank you, Dale. That’s very kind of you.” I said, entering the RV. I scarfed down the granola bars before passing out.

I woke up later, slightly out of sorts. I sat up and noticed half of the group outside, huddled together. I stood up stretched and made my way to them. Lori was once again comforting Carol as Rick and Shane explained that they hadn’t found Sophia yet. Shane shook his head and walked away. I watched him and went to follow him. I felt a hand stopping me. I turned to see Lori frowning at me.

                “Can I talk to you?” She asked, crossing her arms. I nodded and followed her to the other side of the RV.

“What did you need?” I asked, crossing my arms. She sighed rubbed her eyes.

                “He’s just using you.” She muttered, looking down at me.

“Who?” I asked, clenching my jaw. She chuckled.

                “Shane.” She chuckled, with a sad smile.

“And how do you know this?” I asked, putting my hands on my hips. She swallowed and looked around before stepping closer to me.

                “Because he’s trying to get back at me. Make me jealous.”   She hissed in a whisper.

“Why the hell would he do that?” I scoffed, looking at her  knowingly.

                “I-I thought Rick was dead.  I thought I’d lost my husband, my home. All I had was Carl and Shane. He told me my husband was dead, (f/n), then took advantage of me in my grief.” She murmured, taking my hands. I ripped my hands from her grip angrily.

“Well, unlike you Lori. I know my husband is dead. I watched him bleed out, held his hand he died. So don’t tell me how to live my life.” I growled, she looked as if I had slapped her.

                “I’m just trying to help you.” She murmured, evenly.

“You’re just trying to kept them both for yourself for some goddamn reason. You can’t have them both Lori and I’m not saying that anything is going to happen with Shane, but if it does it will be my choice. Not yours. So back the fuck off and go back to your family.” I snapped, stalking off in the sinking sun to find Shane. When I did find him, he was working on a car.

“Whatcha doing?” I asked, startling him and causing him to bang his head on the hood of the car.

                “Damnit, (f/n), warn a guy.” He said, rubbing his head. I smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. I just wanted to make sure you were all right?” I said, crossing my arms. He shut the hood of the car and leaned against it.

                “it’s alright.” He muttered, looking over the abandoned highway and it’s wreckage.

“So I just had a chat with Lori.” I said, with a shrug. He snapped his gaze to mine.

                “And what did she have to say?” He asked, trying to sound uninterested.

“She warned me about you. Told me about what happened with Rick.” I muttered stepping closer to him.

                “What did you say?” He asked, smirking at me.

“I told her that unlike her I watched my husband die and that anything that happens is my choice, not hers.” I said, holding back a smile. He chuckled and tossed his rag on the hood behind him.

“I might have also told her to fuck off.” I whispered, smiling up at him widely.

                “Shit, you’re downright savage aren’t you?” He asked, pushing off the hood of the car and stepping closer to me.

“I told her the truth. I’m old enough to make my own choices, besides it’s the end of the world and anyone of us could die tomorrow. So I’m going to live for moment.” I murmured, smiling up at him. He smirked down at me, running his hands down over my shoulders, gripping my hands in his. He ran a thumb over the tanline that my rings had left.

                “What did you do with your rings?” He asked, without looking up.

“I left them with Keith.” I said in a hushed voice as he looked up from my hand.

“Why?” He asked, kissing my fingers.

“Because as much as I loved him. That part of my life is over, it ended with him. I didn’t need that constant reminder of what could’ve been right in front of my face.” I murmured, pulling my hands from his and wiping my eyes.

“Enough about me. What are you doing with the car?” I asked, changing the subject. He looked at me then back to the car.

                “Fixing it up.” He said, rubbing his mouth. I frowned at him.

“You’re leaving?” I asked, feeling a pit form in my stomach.

                “I was thinking about it.” He murmured, running hand through his hair. I didn’t know what to say.

“Why?” I finally asked, searching his face.

                “The whole thing with Lori and I just felt like it was time.” He muttered, looking at me.

“Felt. Like Past tense?” I asked, he chuckled then nodded.

“What changed?” I whispered, stepping closer to him.

                “You showed up in that ridiculous excuse for a dress, besides you heard Rick, you’re my responsibility.” He said, as I placed my hands on his chest. His hands snaked around and cupped my ass.

                “I have to say these jeans do wonders for your ass.” He muttered, before I shook my head.

“Shut up.” I muttered, frowning at him. He smirked back.

                “Make me.” He dared with a glint in his eyes as he licked his lips. That was the tipping point, all the feelings inside me. The sorrow, the guilt, the fear, the lust: all of it brought me to this moment, wrapped in the arms of a –for lack of a better term- stranger. I took a deep breath before pressing my lips to his in a desperate kiss. He groaned into the kiss, lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist. I buried my hands in his thick hair as his tongue slipped into my mouth. I pulled away breathless and hot. He smirked, chest heaving.

                “I was hoping you do something like that.” He muttered, pressing a quick kiss to my mouth before setting me down.

“I couldn’t resist.” I teased, slipping my hand in his. He kissed my knuckles and then nodded to the car.

                “If I leave, you leave?” He muttered, looking at me. I nodded, smiling. He gave me a wild grin before walking us back towards the group, hand in hand.


	3. Chapter 3

We only had a brief sliver of happiness, then shit hit the fan and we were apart again. Sophia was still missing, Daryl got hurt and a stranger came riding through on her horse telling us that Carl’s been shot and whisking Lori away with her, after she gave us directions to the farm.

“Come on let’s go!” I shouted climbing into the car that Shane had been fixing. I tried to start the car, waiting as the engine turned over once then purred to life.

“What are you waiting for?” I asked, as I started for the farm.

                “What about Sophia?” Carol asked me.

“These people probably have maps, more flashlights and more people means that we can search farther don’t you see this is a good thing.” I said, watching them quickly clamor into their rides. I sped off down the highway, keeping an eye out for walkers as much as I was looking for the driveway that the girl spoke of.  When I got to the farmhouse, I threw the car door open, racing to find the house in it chaos and Shane nowhere to be found. Panic flooded my chest and I started to hyperventilate. I stumbled back out the front door as the RV shuddered to halt and Dale got out of the RV. I fell to the ground desperately gulping for air. Dale raced to my side and knelt down.

                “(f/n) breath. Slowly, in and out. In and out. Good, keep doing that.” He murmured, rubbing my back soothingly. I finally got my breathing under control wiping my tears from my face with my dirty hands.

                “What’s got you all worked up?” He asked, once I was calmer.

“Shane’s-Shane’s not here. From what I heard he went to get something for Carl and he’s been gone a while. I just-I just can’t lose him to Dale.” I whimpered, as Dale pulled me into a hug.

                “It’s alright, Shane’s a smart guy. He knows what he’s doing. You just have to believe that. Alright?” He asked, letting me. I took a shuddering breath in and nodded.

                “Good, now why don’t you go see if there’s anything we can do to help these folks?” He muttered, helping me up.

“Ok, Dale and thanks.” I murmured, brushing off my pants.  I wandered inside still feeling slightly hollow as I moved around helping where I could. I don’t know how much time had passed when I saw the flash of headlights and the sound of crunching gravel. I followed Rick, sprinting out of the house to find Shane limping out of the truck towards us. I felt my heart leap in my chest, the supplies he brought was torn off him and rushed into the house as Rick pulled him into a hug. He gaze never left mine as I waited. When Rick released him, I rushed to Shane slamming into his hard chest and clutching to him. He wobbled, slightly as he chuckled.

                “You miss me, girl?” He asked in a husky voice. I pulled back from the hug and shoved him a bit.

“You asshole, I was worried sick.” I cried, trying to fight the smile and failing. He returned a sly grin and wink. I felt my stomach curl with desire as he approached me.

                “I told myself the whole time, I had to get back her for you. You and Carl.” He murmured, cupping my face.

“I thought was gonna lose you.” I whispered, not wanting to admit it out loud. He scoffed and stroked my cheek.

                “You’re not gonna get rid of me that easy.” He muttered, kissing my forehead. I smiled to myself as I watched him shift his weight to one foot.

“Are you hurt?”  I asked, kneeling down.

                “I’m fine. Just tweaked it.” He said, as I touched it, checking for swelling. He yelped.

                “Son of a bitch!” He shouted, hobbling away from me.

“You are hurt. Come lay down in my tent, you need to rest.” I murmured, lifting his arm over my shoulder and helping him to the tent. As I lay there in his arms listening his heart thrumming under my head, worked up the nerve to say something.

“What happened on that supply run? I whispered, playing with his necklace.

               “We got cornered by some walkers, I made it. Otis wasn’t that lucky.”  He whispered, pressing a kiss to my hair.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” I asked, not quite believing him as I moved to rest my arms on his chest.

                “I know. That’s why I love you.” He muttered threading his fingers into my hair.

“You love me?” I whispered, quietly searching his face. He scoffed at me, head dropping back to rest on the floor.

                “Of course, I love you. I wouldn’t have brought just anyone into this group. I knew from the moment I saw you, that you were special.” He whispered, folding his arms under his head.

“Shane.” I cooed, leaning down to kiss him. He smirked into the kiss opening his mouth to deepen it as he threaded his fingers into my hair. He pulled away breathing heavy and smirked, hands snaking under my shirt pushing it up over my head.

                “Sit up, baby.” He muttered, tugging his shirt off as he sat up. What I say took my breath away, no matter how many times I saw him like this. You couldn’t have called Keith unfit by any means, most of his free moments were spent at the gym. But Shane, Shane was completely different. He looked like he had been sculpted by Zeus himself.

                “Like what you see?” He teased, flexing for me. I blushed and slapped his arm playfully.

“You know I do.” I murmured, before kissing him again and relishing in the feel of his arms strong arms surrounding me. He rolled us over, straddling my hips and smiling down at me. His lips found mine again as his hands found their way to the button of my jeans. I wriggled as he pulled them down over my hips, lips never leaving mine. I unbuttoned his pants quickly, he pulled away and wriggled out of his pants. He smiled at dove back down to my lips before, pressing into me. Sex with Shane was like nothing I had experienced, he was rough and gentle all at the same time. He was attentive, yet didn’t lose any of his gruff exterior that he held always. He was all hard edges and soft moans. In his embrace, it didn’t feel like the end of the world it felt like the beginning.

That is what delighted and frightened me, in these times getting attached to someone was a blessing and a curse. On the bright side, you have a one beacon of light in the shitty mess that the world had become, someone who cared about you. But the dark side of this was that meant you had a weak spot. That if you lost that person that meant that your light was extinguished and what would you have after that? Shane brought me back to him, breaking my thoughts with a bit to my neck, I moaned loudly not caring if the rest of the camp new what we were doing. Shane was mine and I was his, there were a few people that needed to know that. He groaned as I shuddered around him, coming together in a flurry of thrusts and moans. He flopped next to me, pulling me into his chest.

                “You were so loud tonight.” He murmured, pressing a kiss to my sweaty forehead. I smiled, before kissing him.

“I have to let someone know that you’re mine.” I replied, snuggling into his side. His chest was slick with sweat and I traced my finger over his tattoo.

“What did you get this for?” I asked, in a hushed voice. He frowned a bit, tucking his arm under head. 

                “A mistake.” He murmured, running his fingers through my hair.

“So it wasn’t a what it, was a who?” I teased, kissing his cheek.

                “Exactly, in the end it turned out she didn’t feel the same way that I did.” He murmured, looking at me.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered, kissing his face all over.

                 “Guess you’ll have to be my lil’ bird, won’t you?” He teased, cupping my chin.

“I’d like that.” I murmured, running my fingers through his hair. my fingers hit scalp and I frowned.

“What’s this?” I asked, thumbing over it again as he hissed.

                “It’s nothing. I’m gonna go take a shower.” He muttered, demeanor changing in a flash.

“I’ll just wait here then.” I muttered, watching him pull on his clothes and limp from the tent. Something was off and I had a sneaking suspicion that it had to do with whatever happened to Otis.


	4. Chapter 4

I startled when Shane returned. I sat up and rubbing my eyes, shocked to see Shane with a fresh buzz cut.

“What have you done?” I asked, as he sank to his knees next to me. He ran a hand over his head and chuckled.

                “Thought it was time for a change. You don’t like it?” he murmured quietly. I smiled at him and ran my hand over the soft fuzz of head, cupping the nape of his neck.

“It’ll take some getting used to.” I replied, quietly pressing a kiss to his forehead. He let out a large sigh.

                “I gotta tell you something, (f/n), but I need you to promise me that you won’t let this change the way you think of me.” He whispered, meeting my gaze with pleading in his eyes.

“Of course, Shane. You can tell me anything.” I murmured, stroking his arm. He took a deep breath and then bit his lip.

                “It’s about Otis.” He muttered, avoiding my gaze. I felt my blood run cold, but I took his chin in my hand and lifted it so his gaze met mine once again.

“Go on and tell me, baby.” I whispered, taking his hands in mine. He took another deep breath and began to talk.

                “After we had got the supplies we got surrounded by a pack of walkers, we tried to lose them through the high school but got cornered in the gymnasium. The windows there were high up and too small for Otis to fit through, so he told me to go and that he’d cover me. So dropped from window but not before a walker grabbed me causing me to fight and then land wrong, that’s when I hurt my ankle. Stumbling along, we met up again but you have to believe me, when it came down to it, it was me or him. I had to make a decision. I had to get back to you. So I left him, (f/n), I left him. I watched the walkers tear into him. It’s a sight I’ll never forget. Please say something.” He asked, begging me to speak. I looked at his face, fear staining his strong features as he chocolate brown eyes stared at me.

“I glad you made it back to me.” I murmured, stroking his cheek softly. He leaned into my touch, kissing my palm.

                “You’re not mad at me?”  He asked, quietly. I shook my head.

“You did what you had to do. You came back to me and that’s all that matters.” I murmured, as he buried his head in my chest, I felt tears soaking my shirt. I just held him, not speaking as he cried. Moments later he pulled back, wiping his eyes and clearing his throat. I smiled at him.

“I won’t tell anyone, Shane. This will be our secret.” I murmured, watching him as his face returned to its stoic nature again. He nodded, as he lay down beside me.

                “I love you.” He whispered, pressing a kiss into my neck. I closed my eyes as he arms wrapped around me.

“I love you too Shane.” I replied, listening to his heart beat as I drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I woke to an empty tent, I sat up and stretched figuring that Shane was out on guard duty. I got dressed and made my way to the RV, to see if Dale wanted any help.

“Morning Dale!” I called, watching Dale turn and wave to me from the top of the RV.

                “Morning, (f/n).” He called back.

“Need a break?” I asked, shielding my eyes from the sun to see him better.

                “I’m all good, but I would like to have a word with you.” He answered, climbing down from the top of the RV. I met him at the door of the RV.

“What’s up?” I asked, resting my hands on my hips. He took his bucket hat off and wiped the sweat from his forehead.

                “It’s about Shane.” He whispered, his gaze sweeping the area as if making sure that Shane wasn’t in ear shot.

“What about Shane?” I asked, feeling my senses steeling against what was about to come.

                “He’s dangerous, (f/n), and I know that you think that you love him.” He started, but I cut him off crossing my arms.

“I do love him, Dale, now get to the point.” I snapped, anger filling my chest steadily.

                “I think that’s he’s not telling us everything that happened on that supply run, (f/n).” He whispered. I scoffed.

“What are you trying to say, Dale?” I asked, tapping my foot impatiently. He rubbed a grubby hand over his face.

                “Just that Shane’s not telling us the whole truth.” He muttered with a shrug.

“Are you really? Because what it sounds like to me is that you’re insinuating that Shane possibly let Otis die?” I snapped, anger boiling over now.

                “That’s not what I trying to say at all, Im just trying to let you know that he’s dangerous.” He stuttered out.

“You know what’s dangerous, dissension. That leads to much worse things, because the last thing we need right now is civil war during the freaking apocalypse. So watch your mouth Dale.” I growled before storming off to find Shane. I found him teaching Andrea how to shoot. I grabbed him and pulled him to the side.

                “What the hell is wrong with you.” He spat, I looked over his shoulder to find Andrea watching us a carefully.

“Shane, Dale is onto you.” I murmured, in a low voice. Shane furrowed his brows.

                “What?” he asked.

“He’s suspicion about Otis. He approached about it. I told him it wasn’t possible.  We have to leave, things are about to get bad.” I whispered, cupping his face in mine.

                “things are already bad.” He scoffed, looking down at me.

“Things are about to worse then. I can feel it. Please tell me we can leave. I don’t care where we go as long as we go together.”  I was begging now and I couldn’t bring myself to care.

                “We’ll talk about this later ok?” He said, nodded his head towards Andrea. I sighed accepting it against my will.

“Later.” I murmured, receiving a smile from him as he returned to Andrea. I burned me a bit to know that he was spending time with Andrea alone. It’s not that I didn’t trust so much as well, I didn’t trust Andrea. She seemed to have been after him ever since I came along. Going as far as to try to seduce him in the car after a mission, He said it’s didn’t get past heavy petting. But in some instances, I failed to believe that that’s all that happened that afternoon.  I pushed thoughts of Shane’s possible infidelity out of my mind and returned to camp. When Shane returned that night he found me reading a book that Hershal had let me borrow.

                “Hey, (f/n), we can talk now if you want.” He said, sitting next to me.

“Why don’t you talk to Andrea.” I muttered, dryly as I turned a page.

                “Don’t start this I told you that nothing happened.” He murmured, with exhaustion.

“And I want to believe you, but when you two wander off together alone, sometimes I wonder. Plus you should see the way looks at you.” I said, disgust evident in my voice.

                “I’m sorry that me teaching her how to protect this group upsets you. Now can we please talk about what Dale said to you?” He asked, pushing the book from my hands.  I frowned, I picked the book up from the dirt.

“I told you what he said. I told you what I think we should do.” I replied.

                “You think we should leave?” He asked, boot scuffing at the dirt.

“I do. What’s keeping us here?” I murmured, taking his hand in mine.  He looked up at me and opened his mouth, poised to speak then shut it without saying a word. He then got up, making his way into the tent. I sighed, opening the book to the page I left off and continued to read.

The next few days Shane and I spent avoiding Dale, finally something bigger than what Shane did arose to distract the group. Glenn discovered that Hershal’s barn was full of walkers. Shane was pissed to say the least. His first thought was that we needed to just kill them all and I agreed to some extent but I definitely thought that matter needed to be handled delicately. When I suggested that we let Rick handle it, Shane lost it and stormed off. I chased after him.

“Shane!” I called, reaching out to touch his back. He stopped quickly and turned grabbing my hand.

                “What the hell was that I thought you had my back?” He growled, throwing my wrist back to my side.

“I do have your back. That’s why I said Rick needs to handle it. That way is something goes wrong its on him not you. I’m trying to protect you. People are beginning to be scared of you. What’s gotten into you?” I asked, gently taking his hands. He took a shuddering breath in.

“Shane?” I asked, looking at him.

                “Lori’s pregnant.” He murmured so softly I thought I imagined it.

“What?” I asked shock rocking my body.

                “She’s pregnant and it could be mine.” He murmured, looking up at me tears welling in his eyes.

“Oh Shane, why didn’t you just tell me.” I said, pulling him into a hug. His strong arms embraced me and clung to my dirty flannel.

                “I don’t know what to do anymore.” He muttered into my shoulder.

“No matter if that baby is yours or not. Lori and that child are not your responsibility anymore. They’re Ricks.” I murmured, stroking his head.

                “You’re my responsibility.” He whispered into my shoulder.

“That’s right and I need you, remember that.” I whispered, pulling him up and into a kiss. In that moment, everything was okay. But only for a moment. 


	5. Chapter 5

Over the course of how ever many days passed, things declined. Everyone was on edge and suspicious of one thing or another. Rick, Glenn and Hershal had had a narrow escape that resulted in us having a hostage. Arguments then insued about what to do with the poor bastard. Rick tried to do the humane thing, give him a chance. But that ended only in another close call for himself and Shane. During this time Shane grew more and more irritable. We fought, starting and endless bitter cycle of arguments and make up sex. This didn't seem to help and news of Lori's pregnancy seemed to have been a tipping point for Shane. I tried to understand I really did.

"Shane, what's gotten into you?" I asked, one night after a meeting. He had stormed out of the house and into our tent where he paced angrily.

                "Rick's putting us in danger. Can't you see that?" He asked, looking at me brown eyes burning. I looked at him sadness creeping into my heart.

"I can. But baby it's not your call and I know that that just absolutely kills you. But please just listen to them. Go along with them. For me." I begged, taking his hands in mine.

                "You're my responsibility. If Rick puts you in danger that makes things my call." He muttered, squeezing my hands.

                "If he puts-" he stopped mid sentence.

"This is about Lori and the baby isn't it?" I whispered, not knowing what to feel.

                "She told me she doesn't know whose baby it is, (f/n)." He murmured softly as his gaze caught mine.

"Is that what this is all about? If you want a child I'll give you a child. I'll give you whatever I can. I've given you all that I am, I'll continue to give you all. But you have to tell me what you want." I said, tears filling my eyes.

                 "You'd do that for me?" He whispered sounding more broken than ever. I nodded as he swiped away the big tears that where rolling down my cheeks.

"Of course you big dummy. I love you. All of you. Every scar and flaw and angry tantrum. I love, because they are a part of you." I told him cupping his face in my tiny hands. He chuckled, tears dripping down his nose. We stood crying together, uncertain of what the future may bring but United despite that fact.

After this conversation, Shane changed for the better. He was productive, helpful even. Things seemed like they were getting better, until Randall escaped. Shane had come stumbling out of the woods, nose broken. Rick and I were the first to see him. I ran to him, grabbing his face and looking at him.

"What happened? Shane, please tell me." I begged as he shook from my grasp and stumbled towards Rick.

            "The little bastard snuck up on me. I followed him for a few minutes til I blacked out. He went towards the road, where he said his group was." He said standing taller. By this time Daryl and Glenn had reached us.

           "Kinda hard to think that that boy who probably weighs no more that a 185 pounds soaking wet could sneak up on you like that." Daryl said shouldering his crossbow. Shane sneered at him poised to speak, but I cut him off.

"Does it really matter what happened? We need to find and make sure he doesn't bring his friends back here." I voiced, panic flooding like ice in my veins. I watched Shane, he wasn't acting like himself and I wondering what was up. Rick spoke breaking through my thoughts.

             "Let's split up, Glenn, Daryl you take those woods over there. Shane and I will take these ones, we'll meet back here afterwards. Let's move." He said, starting for the tree line. Shane began to follow him, I ran forward, grabbing his arm and turning him towards me. He had a wild, almost savage look in his eyes. As I spoke I watched his gaze soften.

“Be careful and remember that no matter what happens, I love you.” I said, kissing him gently on the lips. He smiled at me gently, lips stained ruby from his injury. I imagined mine looked the same.

                “I love you too, (f/n).” He said, in a hushed voice, flashing me his signature smirk before rushing  off after Rick. I had a sour feeling in my stomach. I prayed that everything would be okay as I tried to push aside my feelings of impending doom. I took a deep breath as I headed back to camp.

                An hour passed and only Glenn and Daryl had returned. I had met them in the field, breathless, desperate for any news. As we were talking, Rick stumbled from the woods, Carl in tow and no Shane in sight. I felt my stomach, flip as I stumbled towards Rick, tears already in my eyes.

“Where’s Shane?” I choked, grabbing his arm. He looked away from me.

                “He turned, Carl put him down.” He whispered, avoiding my gaze. With that a dam of sorrow brook within me as I fell to the ground, crying in anguish. I held onto myself, rocking as I sobbed at Rick’s feet. Daryl tried to comfort me, but I shook him off and falling prostrate on the ground.

                “Leave her be.” Rick murmured, before he walked away. Carl knelt next to me as I pushed myself from the ground. I looked at him through blurry eyes. He had tears in his eyes too, he fell into my arms and we cried together. When I had regained some composure, I walked back towards camp, hand in hand with Carl. Lori, Carol and Andrea met us at the RV. Carl’s hand slipped from mine as he ran to his mother.

                “What happened?” Andrea asked, gently.

“I don’t want to talk about.” I muttered, rubbing my arm.

                “You can tell us.” Carol said, touching my shoulder. I jerked from her touch.

“Ask Rick.” I snapped, glaring at Lori before storming into my tent. The tent was littered with little reminders of Shane. The flannel he’d taken of Keith’s lay on his pillow. As I took it in, I felt my lips quiver as I fell to my knees and buried my face the lump of fabric, inhaling Shane’s scent as I began to cry once more.


	6. Chapter 6

After Shane died, I wasn’t much more than a walker. I felt numb, lifeless and I had nothing to live for, not anymore. Shane had been my only light in the darkness of the new world we were living in. When Keith had died, I had skipped this phase, it had been about surviving. But in the safety of this group I could mourn until the herd came. I was dragged from my grief by the need to survive no matter how much I didn’t want to. It wasn’t just about me, it was about the good of the group. We fought our way out even though we were separated, I ended up with Rick and the others.

                We were tired, hungry and irritable. Every one of us was at the end of our rope and were not afraid to be vocal about it. After one particularly long day of walking, we’d hunkered down with a small fire by a bridge. Someone was complaining about how exposed we are and Rick snapped.

                “I killed my best friend for you people what more do you want from me!” He growled, as silence covered the group. Anger rose in my body, my eyesight turning red with rage.

“You killed Shane?” I asked, through gritted teeth. Rick stared at me.

                “He was endangering the group.” He muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

“You are so fucking selfish, Rick Grimes.” I spat, rage spilling from every fiber of my being.

                “What the hell are you talking about?” He asked, narrowing his eyes at me.

“You took away the only light that I had in the piece of shit world that we are living in, because you felt threatened. It’s not my fault , or his for that matter that you couldn’t control your whore wife. How dare you act like you doing anything more than eliminating what you thought to be competition.”  I spat angrily. Rick’s lip twitched as his hand went to rest on his gun.

“Go ahead, Rick. You might as well shoot me. Put me down like you did Shane. I’ve got nothing left to live for. On that note, you know what I’ll just go on my own.” I spat, shouldering the bag that I had scavenged before we were run off the farm.

                “You won’t survive out there.” Carol said, as I tied Shane’s flannel around my waist and pulled his hat down low over my eyes.

“I honestly don’t give a shit. Peace out dickheads.” I said, grabbing my gun and my knife.

                “(f/n), this isn’t what Shane would want for you.” Hershal said, as I turned away.

“Really? How well do you think you knew him? Better than me? Because he certainly want me staying with his murderer and ex-lover. I’ll go my own way, thank you very much.” I said, flipping them the bird as I stormed from the camp. I walked down the road finally coming to a gas station, I scanned the area finding it clear of walkers and went inside. Surprisingly there was a decent amount of supplies left, I stuffed my bag full of beef jerky, cans of spaghetti o’s and soup, nuts, bottled water and Gatorade. I snagged some a map, a few rolls of duct tape, a couple boxes of matches, a hunting knife and a rifle that I found along with 2 boxes of bullets I found in the office. As I was leaving, I spied some top shelf bourbon. I didn’t really need it and my bag was already full but what the hell, I thought grabbing it before I left. Next I checked the cars, seeing if any of them would start. A beat up junk pick up rumbled and shuttered to life. I filled 6 gas cans full of gas along with the truck’s tank. I climbed in looking at the store in my rearview mirror realized that Rick and the other group would come upon it eventually. With that thought I went back inside, grabbed as much as I could packing into a plastic bags and loading them into the bed of the truck. When I felt like I had taken everything that I could use, I doused the store in gas from the inside out. Grabbed a bottle of shitty vodka, stuffed a rag in the top and lit the place up like a Christmas tree. I pulled out of the store and watched the flames rise in my mirror. I drove past walkers listening to the Johnny Cash cassette tape that was stuck in the deck of the truck. I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel in time to the song. I was lost in my thoughts as I looked up and noticed a man, not a walker in the road. I slammed on my breaks, the man looked like he was probably in his late 40’s and had a knife attached to his hand like a post-apocalyptic equal of Captian Hook. My hand went to my gun, as I stepped from the truck and aimed my weapon at him.

“Who the hell are you and want do you want?” I growled, aiming at his head.

                “I’m just a man in need of a ride, little lady.” He rasped, with a sickening grin.

“Where you headed?” I asked, cocking my gun. He chuckled and shook his head.

                “Place called Woodbury. You heard of it?” He asked, lowering his hands.

“and if I haven’t?” I asked, sharply. He smirked at me.

                “Then you’re missing out. They are a community of survivors and the Governor would love you.” He murmured, taking a step towards me.

“Don’t you fucking move.” I snapped, giving a warning shot. He froze as the bullets hit the ground next to his feet.

                “You’ll attract walkers that way, little miss, now why don’t you let me in that nice ride of yours and I’ll show you the way to Woodbury.” He said, trying to convince me.

“And if I do?” I asked, lowering my gun  a hair.

                “I’ll help you get back at whoever wronged you.” He muttered, with a sly grin.

“How do you know someone wronged me?” I asked, genuinely curious.

                “Gut instinct.” He replied with a shrug.

“Sure.” I scoffed, frown returning to my face.

                “Plus I was wronged to. The man that wronged me cost me my hand but that’s a different story.

“Who was the guy?” I asked, as I lowering my gun completely.

                “Rick Grimes.” He answered without hesitation. At the mention of his name I visible prickled.

                “You know him?” The stranger asked, I nodded climbing back into my truck.

“Get in.” I called opening the passenger door and pulling my supplies to the middle, so the stranger could sit. He jogged around the truck as climbed in, slamming the door.

“Which direction?” I asked, turning to him.

                “Northwest about 30 miles.” He replied, tearing into some beef jerky. I grabbed the bag from him, grabbing a handful before tossing it back to him. I started the truck and it rumbled to life. As we drove down the road he hummed along with the tape and as we neared 10 minute mark I realized that I didn’t know his name.

“I never got your name.” I said, turning down the music. He chuckled and rubbed a hand over the back of head.

                “Name’s Meryl.” He said, offering his good hand. I shook it awkwardly and offered my name.

“Take a left here and then keep going straight we’ll be there soon.” He said, I nodded and felt something stir inside me. This could be the beginning of a new life for me, I smiled at the thought. As I continued to drive with this stranger, to a strange place. I knew I’d be okay and that I could take care of myself.


End file.
